Learning to Meet Resistance with a Smile
By Amanda Rae
When life is easy, we don't really put much effort into it.
It’s true. Think about it for a second. When life is easy we don’t put effort into it. We float around like jellyfish in the sea. Just hanging out,, waiting for the next thing to come along. But what about when we meet resistance?
“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”
―
The point of resistance can be anything. It can be your job, a family member, or a relationship. It can be within yourself or can include other people. Sometimes the resistance is small but keeps building until it becomes more noticeable.
Have you ever tried to do all the things, be all the things and create all the things until you felt completely defeated?
“I have seen that in any great undertaking, it is not enough for a man to depend simply upon himself.”
–Shooter Teton Sioux (Native American)
The purpose of the trial or that point of resistance is to get our attention. It’s getting our attention because it no longer serves our greater purpose. The discomfort it causes us is begging us to make a change. Making that change betters our life in the long run. When we insist on carrying it ourselves, we break down. We were not designed to carry it all.
When we are stubborn or crave control, we actually make our trials worse. What was meant for a small disruption actually becomes more involved because we failed to give ourselves grace and ask for help.
Do you get upset with yourself because you failed to do “all the things?” High expectations we place upon ourselves can actually fuel the fire. Instead of meeting ourselves with grace and love, we raise that bar and push even harder?
Why?
Because that’s what we were “told” to do by the society we live in. If you’re not “crazy busy” then what in the world are you even doing? It’s no wonder we live in such a stressed out and overburdened society. We tend to view being successful as doing “all the things” when really it’s just grinding on our minds, our bodies and our souls, until there’s nothing left. And then we have the nerve to get pissed at ourselves when we fail to meet our own asinine expectations. Well, at least I do, I am speaking from experience here.
I have to remind myself that I am doing the best I can. Each day might look a little different then the day before. And that has to be ok!! I have to allow grace for me, just like I would if I was talking to a friend.
Speaking of, let’s talk about a little double standard rule we all probably have. Have you ever talked to a friend who is stressed out, overworked and exhausted to the max? What do we tell them? How do we respond when we see someone we love feeling that way? With compassion, with love, with understanding. Don’t we? We tell them to take a break, relax, ask them how we can help. We tell them they deserve it and offer to help out any way we can. We show them love, kindness and acceptance.
And yet, we go home to our own set of rules and expectations that we have for ourselves. Crazy, right?
Hello? Double standards much?!
I recently took a class with Nicole Powers called Dancing with the Divine. Ah- mazing! It was designed in a way that let everyone have their own personal experience. Mine met me at the door, but I wasn’t really smiling. Hello resistance! My trial was releasing control and allowing the Divine to step in and take the lead.
I know God was leading me to look at what needed to shift in my life. I worked with the Divine and Spirit to illuminate the areas that were begging to be changed.
What I found was that I like to control.. everything. Yep, totally true. Control leaves no room for surprises and therefore I am always one step ahead of the game. Or so I thought..
Too bad that’s not really what benefits me in the long run. I had no idea that releasing control could allow me to open up more room in my heart. Giving myself that overdue self love, grace and compassion allowed room for growth and expansion. Allowing God to guide the process showed me how to actually view those trials and those points of resistance very differently. Am I always super happy to experience them? Heck no!
However, I understand it is necessary. And that makes my heart smile!
When we surrender to the resistance, the results are way bigger than what we could have ever achieved on our own. Working through my resistance has taught me so much. Not only that, I have been blessed with the opportunity to share this with so many of my clients.
I have always asked that God keeps my heart moldable so that I can be of service to others who may need it. Sure, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable to be open and vulnerable out here on the streets of the interwebs. Especially when it comes to using my own life as an example. But if sharing my message helps one person change the course of their decisions, then it is totally worth it. And that is yet another reason to meet my own resistance with a smile.
Love, Amanda Rae
“If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
-Brené Brown
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