Soul ReWilding – January 10, 2023
Lesson 1 Getting to know yourself
For the last few years, I have been on a mission to find a stronger connection with myself. My goal is to find self-acceptance and in order to do this, I need to find a deeper understanding of myself. I want to show myself love and compassion.
I am working tirelessly on reducing my people-pleasing skills. I am placing my time and energy in people and places that my heart lights up for. I am learning to say “no” to people and places that my heart wilts for.
(Journal Entry – Amanda 2019)
This is not an easy process. But when we have a greater understanding of ourselves, we live a more authentic life. This brings a richer fulfillment in all areas of life.
When we find a deeper understanding of ourselves we invite a number of benefits into our life. This includes greater self-esteem and confidence to live your own life.
Understanding turns into compassion. Compassion encourages acceptance. Acceptance grows Confidence. Confidence builds empowerment.
It’s very simple. We make it way more complicated…
There is no coming to consciousness without pain. Most people will do anything in order to avoid facing their own soul.
What are some things that you use as a distraction or excuse to not do the work? What if you named your pain and took its power away?
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl G. Jung
The purpose of feeling uncomfortable is to remind us that we deserve better.
Not to prove to us that we’re incapable of receiving better.
What if I told you …
The secret to self confidence is simply to understand who it is that you are.
KNOWING YOURSELF can help YOU heal and redirect YOUR focus making better choices for YOURSELF. .
THIS IS WHY a deep understanding of you is crucial for our well being. It is directly related to our confidence and our happiness.
- When we understand ourselves we can avoid outside stress as much as possible.
- When we understand our triggers we can erect boundaries.
- When we have self-knowing we can choose joy and surround ourselves with nourishing connections.
Understanding ourselves is key to our happiness. It’s time to stop following the crowd and going along with the masses. It’s time to get to know YOU. The beautiful soul inside the human 3D body you’re sitting in.
Do you really know yourself?
Have a thought about the following questions.
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Describe your perfect day?
Who are your 6 fantasy dinner date guests?
What makes you laugh?
What are you scared of?
What is one thing you wish you could tell with your younger self?
From a young age, we seek security and safety in a group. Very often we adopt the characteristics of a group in order to fit in. It can be as simple as food preferences or more complex like who you vote for.
Are the music you are listening to and the clothes you are wearing based on your own choice or is it purely to help you fit in?
How often do you change your mind/ opinions/style inorder to blend in or be accepted.
Is the car you are driving for external approval?
Is the book you are reading to help you keep in with friends or a local book club are you genuinely enjoying it?
Are your opinions your own, or have you been influenced by others? (even in the tiniest way?) Pay attention to your thoughts in the next week – see how many times you reroute your decisions.
Discerning if we are acting authentically or for the benefit of our peers is an important step in understanding ourselves!
Take a moment to think about this…
Have you ever withheld your thoughts in conversation, agreed with the majority for the sake of ease, keeping your opinions to yourself or going along with the flow instead of sharing your truth in whatever setting you are in?
- Do you know WHY you responded this way?
- How did you feel before, during and after?
- What was your inner dialogue like?
The benefits of understanding yourself:
When we find a deeper understanding of ourselves we invite a number of benefits into our life. This includes greater self-esteem and levels of pride.
Understanding ourselves also helps us show ourselves more compassion. We are kinder to ourselves and make decisions based on our level of understanding of our likes and dislikes and our interests.
It’s very simple. The greater our understanding of ourselves, the greater our self-confidence.
WORK IT OUT
Here are 5 ways you can find a deeper understanding of yourself.
- Identify your morals and values
Identifying our own morals and values is an essential part of understanding ourselves.
Consider your political views. Reflect on your religious beliefs.
What do you think about some of the big issues in the world today? How do you feel about gun laws, testing on animals, or abortion?
These are big issues and will help you figure out where you stand morally. They may also help you identify your values.
- Develop your self-awareness
We have internal and external self-awareness.
- An internal self-awareness includes knowledge of our morals and values as stipulated above.
- Our external self-awareness is how we recognize we are perceived by others.
Do you know how you come across to others? You may think you are fun and playful, whereas your bestie or coworker may find you abrasive and rude.
How do people respond to you?
How effective is your communication?
Have some honest conversations with friends and family.
Do you portray your real self to the outside world?
- Listen to your gut
When you get a message from someone you are purposefully disconnecting or distancing from, your heart no longer jumps for joy. Instead, there is a momentary sense of discomfort.
Listen to your gut. If you feel “meh” about someone or something, then don’t indulge in it.
If you feel a sense of dread about going to a party, then don’t go. If you spend half your energy on people and things who don’t bring you joy, you will be exhausted and in turn, become insincere.
Be honest, do you even like who you are when you are with people or in situations that suffocate you? Listen to your gut. It will help direct you to a deeper understanding of yourself.
- Engage in therapy
We all have blind spots. We may be repeating cycles of harmful behavior. We may have past trauma we haven’t come to terms with yet. Whatever our history, therapy is a sure way to help us understand ourselves.
Remember, it is important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. If you don’t like them, find a new therapist. Engage with the process and embrace it.
If you only give half of yourself to the therapeutic process, you will only receive half of the benefits.
- Find acceptance
Once you find yourself in a place of self-knowing, accept it! Celebrate it!
Recognize yourself for who you are and learn to be true to who you are.
Don’t force yourself into situations that leave you anxious.
Accept your limitations and embrace your strengths.
Do more of what you enjoy and what brings you energy and joy.
Even if it turns out you aren’t the person you thought you were, you will find greater peace by living authentically and accepting yourself rather than trying to live a lie.
It’s not just about understanding ourselves, it’s about acting in accordance with your TRUTH. Understanding yourself will automatically invite happiness into your life and avoid people and circumstances that no longer bring you joy.
Lesson 1 Homework: Journal Questions
January 10, 2023
Want to know how to get to know yourself on a deeper level? How to understand who you really are and what’s truly important to you? Then it’s time for some self-awareness! Here’s some key questions to get to know yourself better – questions that will really make you think!
How To Get To Know Yourself
How well do you know yourself? I mean really know yourself? Not the person you show other people that you are. The person that you really are. This is something that you may not be as clear on as you perhaps may think. Because think about it, how often do you actually spend time getting to know yourself?
We always invest time learning about other people, but what about ourselves? I mean, studies actually suggest that although 95 percent of people would consider themselves self-aware, the more accurate figure would likely be around 10%!
So when it comes to how to get to know yourself, you have to swat up a little… on YOU!
How It Works:
Each question is placed roughly into a different category: to make them easier to work through and help you to identify where the gaps perhaps may be. We will add more each week to help us work through them.
– If you don’t know the answer to a question, take some time exploring it further. This is the most important part.
There’s also no right or wrong answers, so long as it’s true to you.
Questions To Get To Know Yourself Better
Starting With The Basics:
1) What’s your favorite book? Movie? Band? Food? Color? Animal?
2) What do you like to do for fun? To chill out? For self-care?
3) What would a perfect day look like to you?
4) Generally speaking, what’s your outlook on life? Do you think you are a positive or negative person?
5) What things have you never done before, but would like to do? Think about some things on your dream wish-list.
6) How about some achievements you’d love to reach in your life? What would make you feel accomplished?
7) Who are your greatest role models? And what do they inspire you to do / be more like?
8) What are your short-term goals and long-term goals? And why are these important to you?
9) Who and what matters the most to you in your life?
10) What are your strengths and weaknesses as a person?
11) And what areas do you know that you need to work on / develop?