Breaking Free
By Amanda Rae
Have you given yourself the space to look deep into your own beliefs?
I have been doing some major work in the last few years with my belief system. It was something I avoided for at least two decades. It was a scary road to look down. So much fear, so much uncertainty. I was terrified to face what I felt was coming. I actually shut off part of me that was begging to come out. My heart just could not handle the emotions that were wrapped up in this mess. But over time, the part that I shut off had worn me down to the point that I had to face it.
I was tired of not being me, the whole me. I was tired of adjusting myself to fit in with those around me. I hid a part of me that God created because I had so much fear. What was I going to do when I actually looked that fear in the face? How many people was I going to disappoint when they found out my truth? How would I explain this to them? Would anyone actually understand me? How painful was it going to be when I saw the disappointment, or disapproval in their eyes?
And the biggest question of all.. What was God going to think of me?
grew up in a christian home, we attended church every single Sunday, no excuses. I can hardly remember a day that my mom didn’t sit to do her devotional time or work on a bible study. She enjoyed that so much. I remember thinking how boring it was and I felt incredibly guilty about that. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not feel that connection with God that way.
I never understood why it was ok for people that read the bible to be ok with reading stories about people talking to the dead, hearing spirit or being visited by Angels because when I talked about it I got weird looks. The Sunday school teacher would teach stories of premonition dreams and people talking with spirits and angels but when I raise my hand to share, they told me that doesn’t happen, or worse, if it did, it was a trickster spirit or the Devil!
I had never experienced anything that made me afraid, but their response quickly changed my mind about all of it. There was no way I wanted to hang out with the Devil or his posse. And I didn’t want them to think I was into that ether!
Our experiences tend to support our belief systems.
I started keeping my experiences to myself as a form of protection. I already felt like nobody understood me and I didn’t belong anywhere. I came from a blended family. Everyone else had lighter skin, hair and eyes. Then there was me, darker skin, dark hair and super dark brown eyes. I looked like I didn’t belong, and I felt that way too.
I tried so hard to be a “good christian” and not pay attention to spirit around me. Especially when I started to fear it. I couldn’t actually see spirit, but I could feel and hear them. I slept with my radio on to block out any noise. I prayed every night that God would change his mind and change ME. I begged for him to protect me, to rescue me from the Devil. I prayed that he come into my heart and change me, love me and forgive me for whatever it was that I did.
I had developed not only fear but guilt. I learned to shut my abilities off for the most part, but every once in a while, they would come back. I found myself pleading with God again and again.
I learned about the “election” and how God already knows who is going to heaven. I remember being so mad and asking God why the hell he even bothered to create me if I was going to be created with these abilities and cast into hell no matter what. I felt so much anger.. and betrayal. No matter how mad I got, at the end of the day I still cared what God thought of me.
I knew that there was more to this life, and that there was so much that I didn’t understand. I decided to take a class about intuitive abilities. I was totally unprepared for the way that class changed my life. I had no idea that I was indeed an intuitive person. Or that there really was such a thing. I was taught actual words for things that I thought, felt, saw, and experienced. I learned that my experiences were actually legit and not just my imagination. I started to feel more comfortable with myself… and more like the original version of me that I was as a child. I felt validated. I felt more confident. Most importantly, I felt that connection to God, the creator. I was able to see the beauty in all that was created and how all things are connected.
When we allow ourselves the space to unpack what we were told to believe, we might just find that some of the things we have been carrying around are someone else’s luggage.
What do I mean by that?
The beliefs that were instilled in me were only based on the limited understandings of others. By limited understandings I mean based solely through their own lense. We each have our own path to take. Using someone else’s directions won’t get you to your destination. You can take their recommendations but you won’t find your truth until you are willing to lay it all down and take it in without any limiting beliefs. The bible is an excellent source, in my opinion to use as guide. I still read it and apply it to my life. However, not all the passages are clear in their meaning. Two people can look at it and based on their relationship with God, it may have a slightly different meaning to them. Not all people will have supernatural experiences during their life here, and that is perfectly ok. For those of us who do, thats ok as well!
This year has been a crazy year, lots of breaking down and rebuilding in my life. It’s been hard, yet necessary. I have come to the realization that in order for me to be my true happy, authentic self, I need to stay true to who I was, and who I am! So this is my 2020 resolution. Better late than never!
I am Amanda Rae, the founder of Amanda Rae Golden Heart healing. I’m an Intuitive Psychic, Medium, Energy Healing Facilitator, Intuitive Coach and Spiritual Teacher.
Love, Amanda Rae
We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.
Romans 14:1-23 English Standard Version (ESV)
Do Not Pass Judgment on One Another
As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. 2 One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. 3 Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. 4 Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.5 One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 The one who observes the day, observes it in honor of the Lord. The one who eats, eats in honor of the Lord, since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains in honor of the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” 12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
Do Not Cause Another to Stumble
13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. 20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
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